


We ain't your typical Family

by cardio_rider



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Humor, Multi, i fucked up just trying to tag this crap, just read it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-08-31 08:43:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8571862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardio_rider/pseuds/cardio_rider
Summary: Katsuki Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov, Yuri Plisetsky and the rest of the crew are getting hyped up on a journey to relive the roundabout of their past experiences in a cast.How would it turn out?Read it and you'd find out.





	1. Act 1- Not as Easy as Pirozhki!!

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking, if Yuri!!! on ICE was casted, how would it be like... and I found this fun and interesting so ta-da this is for all of you from me! Have fun reading! I'd really appreciate your kudos and I'll try replying to your comments when I have time.

Yuri!!! On ICE (credits to director Sayo Yamamoto, writer Mitsuro Kubo, musicians Taro Umebayashi & Taku Matsushiba and the rest of the crew) I would like to thank all of you for delivering such a beautiful, emotion-filled and funny animation to all of us around the world.

First Skate (Easy as Pirozhki!!) The Grand Prix Final of Tears

VICTOR: Yuuri, it's time to get back on set!

YUURI: Tell me why are we doing this again? Is it necessary to replay my miserable first Grand Prix Final?

YURI: Oi, hurry up pork cutlet bowl or I'll crush you under my golden foot this time!

YUURI: Fine, fine, hold on a minute will you?

YURI: We haven't got all day to waste on you, you know?

VICTOR: Now, now, Yurio, be nice.

...

SCENE 1

YUURI: Hello? Mom, were you sleeping? Sorry. Oh, you were watching TV? Uh... Huh? A public viewing? Please! I'm so embarrassed! *mumbles (this is far more embarrassing) ... (laughs a way bit funnily) I'm sorry. (crunches his eyebrows, trying real hard to cry) I messed up-

The W.C door is suddenly slammed in harder than supposed to. The door breaks down.

YURI: YEAHHH! YOU MESSED UP ROYALLY! ...YOU! USELESS, INCOMPETENT PIECE OF TRASH!... Ah... damn it... what was it again?

YUURI: Y-Yurio!? What are you doing here? (shakes his heads vigorously) No... that's not what I'm supposed to ask. WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU HERE? (whispers loudly, somehow hissing) IT'S NOT TIME FOR YOU TO TURN UP YET!

YURI: (tunes out Yuuri's voice) Victor! Why are you slacking around? (put both hands on the edge of the walls and swings backwards, head is upside down)

VICTOR: (appears out of nowhere) YOU are the one who slacks off all the time during practice.

YUURI: V-Victor!!!? Why are you here? (blushes profusely)

VICTOR: (places his index finger under his chin, deep in thought, does not realize Yuuri's beet red face) I thought that line was for the ending part? *blinks

YURI: *snickers

YURI: (turns his head over his shoulder to Victor) HA? I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!

YUURI: (pushes his glasses further up his nose bridge) That wasn't on the script... I think you caught onto Victor's forgetfulness, Yurio. (A.N.: refer to Yuri's first line)

VICTOR: What? (reacting towards said forgetfulness)

YURI: WHAT DID YOU SAY!!! I'LL SHUT THAT MOUTH OF YOURS WITH YOUR STUPID SKATES! (slaps a hand onto Yuuri's face and uses another to tug at the rim of his mouth)

YUURI: Umph!!! (reaches out blindly, thrashing around and tries to pry Yuri's hands off of his mouth but to no avail)

Crew tries to pry the pouncing tiger cub aka Yuri off of Yuuri. Yuri does not care about shit. Yuuri is just fucking desperate for air.

MINAKO: Haih, feels like we are going to have to do this all over again. (face palms)

PHICHIT: (half smiling and half laughing, clutching his stomach) You betcha, Minako-san!

**To be continued...**

I've already completed most of the chapters but I'll most likely post them after I complete the entire thing. Leave me kudos and comments to keep me motivated! 

Also, the version with accurate bold, italic and underlines will be posted on wattpad. So if you have an account there you can support me from there too, don't forget to follow me because I'll definitely follow back. Mark my words, I don't lie about things like this. 

I'll leave the link to my account here only when I'm done with this fic.

Kudos and Comments time, folks!

:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Act 2- Too much Yuri drama

Second Skate (Two Yuris?!) Drama at Yu-topia

Yuri is walking out to the entrance of Ice Castle Hasetsu nonchalantly with hands stuffed into his jeans pockets.

YURI: So... pig... are we really going to act out the second episode today? Those idiots just had to choose this day when the sun is shining as bright as hell. Plus its hot out today.

YUURI: It's not anyone's fault, we can't do anything about it anyway. *sighs

VICTOR: I don't think hell is this bright, Yurio.

YURI: I didn't ask you, Victor.

Victor does not take notice of what Yuri said. He is too busy playing with Maccachin. Yuri leans against the rail of the stairs. A smirk appears on his face as he thought of how he would get to kick Yuuri later in the starting scene, the YUURI who stole his Victor. Maybe he should kick extra hard and send Yuuri flying over the counter, becoming a prima ballerina was a good thing after all. Maybe... but the sun was making him all flustered. Lifting a leg up to inspect the sole of his precious leopard-printed sport shoe, his face went from expressionless to having a sinister smile. He would definitely have fun stepping over Yuuri's face over and over again. Tilting his head to the back, he didn't realize he was laughing aloud being too deep into his thoughts.

VICTOR: Yurio? Why are you laughing all of a sudden?

YUURI: Everyone's looking at you, you know.

Everyone stares at the Yuri Plisetsky.

YURI: HUH?! That's because I'm famou...!

Yuri's big movement causes the rail to rattle noisily. And...... -everything comes crashing down.

YURI: Ow! That hurt like hell!

VICTOR: Now that sounds much better than before. (referring to Yuri's vocabulary)

YUURI: Yurio! Jeez, what are you doing? (helps Yuri up) You might want to repair this later. (shakes his head and sighs knowing the little kid's response)

YURI: Ha?! Why me? You should have told me to back off the rail, fatso!

YUURI: Err, that's what I would have said, it's not like you care about what I say. *sweatdrops

YURI: What did you just say?

Yuuri moves away before Yuri comes for the kill. Victor just blinks, watching the kitten chasing the pig. ____________________________________________________________________

Scene 2

VICTOR: First, let's have you two listen to the music. (presses a button on the remote and a holy choir bestows upon them like a blessing- not for Yuri at least-)

Yuri and Yuuri are standing with their blades on ice in Ice Castle Hasetsu's ice rink. They listen to the music that is playing on from the speaker.

VICTOR: This piece comes in two arrangements, each with a different theme. (pauses to think) "On Love: Eros and Agape." Have you ever thought about love?

YURI: Nope. 'Of course not, with you stalkers around, I haven't got any fucking time to think about this Agape crap.'

Yuuri shakes his head as Yuri responses verbally.

VICTOR: All right. Then how do you kids feel when you listen to this music?

YURI: What the f- (Yuri literally flies across the ice to clamp his hand onto Yuri's sinful mouth, loses his balance and falls beautifully onto the ice face-on as Yuri falls on his now stinging ass) -I'M NOT A KID!!! And get off of me, you fat pig!

VICTOR: Was that wrong? Hold on, let me check my script again... Where did it go? (searches for his script, patting about his back pockets)

YUURI: You sure are very clear and innocent, Yurio. (looks up with a half-guilty smile and slumps back onto the ice)

VICTOR: Yuuri, are you sure you are saying that line right? I mean like, Yurio is not as innocent as Agape after all. Don't give me that look, Yurio. (looks at the sour-puss disapprovingly)

YUURI: I was pretty sure that I was just using that line as a perfect metaphor to Yurio's innocent, beautiful, gracious AND attractive vocab-

YURI: I appreciate the thought but- don't you think that's enough subjective terms you've used there, hmm, pig? (lifts his skates up above Yuuri's head)

YUURI: Okay, okay, don't get so mad now... (cowers a little and shields his face from Yuri's offensive looking blades)

......

Silence.

YURI & YUURI: Where's Victor, anyway? (stares at the empty space where Victor was supposed to be at)

BEHIND THE SCENE

Crew tries fucking hard to find and a search party is sent out to search for the Russian legend all around one freaking ice rink.

Elsewhere...

VICTOR: Where on earth did it go to? (bangs open and slam back down all the lockers for one measly piece of paper, an agitated look on his face, doesn't find any shit and almost pulls out all his hair off of his head)

TAKE 121

ASDFGHJKL... BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH... ...

VICTOR: Then what do you feel when you listen to this music?

YUURI: It's very clear and innocent, (closes his eyes, savoring the flow of the music, with index finger up to prove his point) like someone who doesn't know what love is yet. (Yuri turns his head towards Yuuri and gives his 'I don't give a -' signature look)

YURI: I don't like this piece. (turns back to the front to face Victor and responses immediately without much thought) This innocent crap makes me wanna barf. (throws both his arms out, sticks his tongue out and flicks it up and down)

VICTOR: Okay. (pauses the song and presses a button on the remote)

Overwhelming pause for extra measure on dramatic irony.

... AGAPE plays loudly and clearly from where it left off.

......

YUURI: Haih...

YURI: (dumbstruck for a moment) I don't even want to say anything. CAN YOU AT LEAST LOOK AT WHICH BUTTON YOU ARE PRESSING ON?

VICTOR: Eh? Sorry, sorry, I didn't realize it. *grins sheepishly

Crew slumps to their deathbed and does not dive into their coffin - they lost the energy to- after 121 takes.

TAKE 124

... NG (NO GOOD)

YUURI: Yurio, can you stop yelling too much when Agape comes on? I think the crew died more than 100 times listening to your deafening screams.

YURI: WHAT? I am the one who died after listening to Agape for more than a thousand fucking times, skating to that piece of shit and now Victor just can't stop his itchy hands from pressing the same button every single time we take. I think I'm gonna vomit now... (runs to the toilet to barf out all the breakfast junk he ate)

YUURI: Hold on, Yurio, are you oka- (skates too fast to the edge and slams into the wall) Ow! I think I died. I really died this time. (tries to get up only to fall back onto the ice)

Victor rushes over from the other side of the rink to pull Yuuri up.

TAKE 130

Scene skip

Victor fumbles with the remote and finally-

-EROS plays on like programmed.

Yuuri sighs in relief internally and follows up by closing his eyes slowly, feeling the familiarity of the song come back to him.

YUURI: It's like a completely different song.

YURI: Victor! I want to skate to this one! (shoves his right hand outwards to further emphasize on his statement and Victor cuts him off before he even gets to turn to face Yuuri with an 'I do what I want' expression)

VICTOR: Right now? *blinks YURI: *face palms Yuuri laughs awkwardly.

"OF COURSE NOT, YOU IDIOT!!!"

No prizes for Victor on guessing who said that. Victor got clubbed too many times to think straight after that.

TAKE 131

Scene skip

Victor brings the remote down to his back. Eros plays on as BGM (background music)

VICTOR: The first piece is "On Love: Agape." The theme is unconditional love.

Yuuri gulps a little and nods slightly uneasily.

VICTOR: And this piece is "On Love: Eros." (brings his fingers up to his lips) The theme is sexual love.

Yuri nods in determination.

VICTOR: I'll have you two skate to these opposing themes. This is how I'm assigning them. (pauses to take in a deep breath)

VICTOR: Yuri, you'll skate to "Agape"! Yurio, you'll skate to "Eros"! (finger pointing towards Yuuri stops midway) ...Eh...

YURI: I GIVE UP.

Yuuri faints from the lack of sleep- not really- and Victor's intelligence- obviously.

 **To be** **continued...**


End file.
